“I didn’t know what it was going to start like, but then it became a whole universe” (Ben, 13). This is Ben’s quote that sat under the cosmic art work he made at the local art making space.
Thankyou Ben, all of 13. You, a boy on the cusp of adolescence, sharing your heart with the world as you reflect on your art-making. Me, a man in the grip of mid-life, celebrating the image of you discovering something greater than yourself and being swept up in it.
I think it was the tenderness of it that grabbed me. The opening into a world beyond that is discovered through experience. It’s not forced, not dictated but arrived at.
Your words opened up to me an awareness of what is needed for all men, young and old. That we are courageous enough to be open to what awaits discovery – in ourselves and our world. For those of us who are younger, that you discover for yourself, on your own terms, the truth, beauty and goodness of the world. For those of us who are older, with scars and broken hearts, that we discover that we are more than these wounds. Whatever it is we are graced with, we all share in the experience of moving beyond stories, patterns and habits that have restricted us, to take up residence in a larger, gentler and receptive world, that we just couldn’t see and didn’t dare imagine was possible.
Over time, what it asks of us, is the call to live out a new way of expressing who we are with humility, gratitude and enthusiasm. For those of us old enough to accept it, there is an ultimate responsibility that comes with this gift – that we do what we can to keep spaces open for discovery that is as free as possible of hatred. As we participate in this process of creating spaces of discovery, we are expanded and become big enough to sit in silence and shadow. We can own what can’t be shifted quickly, till it softens with new found love. We can start to see with new eyes that look upon the world, yourself and others with greater care, clarity and desire. Soon enough, the weight of hurt, shame and fear can be left behind – so too the pain that rips and ruptures you and others.
So to Ben and others on the journey, keep open. The world will send messages and memes that seem closed with certainty. Keep open so that your universe continues to expand, until the time comes, and you will know when it arrives, that you move towards returning to the world, what you have discovered for yourself.
I hope to discover for myself and other men a way of being in the world where being fierce is a kind of tenderness, where warriors are the strongest at caring and to support is to be a repairer of ruptures large and small.
Thankyou Ben for leading the way. You may not know it, but you have shown us how to live.
