Trauma is a word we hear a lot – trauma is a wound that time forgot – NOT!
Alongside the pain of the experience, finding the words and living a life is agonisingly delicate and frought because trauma marks its territory with layers of unsayability; the consequence of the physical damage wrought upon language centres and the emotional impact of shame and dislocation. The wound can rub more when witnesses to trauma and its revelation are unseen and disbelieved. Understandably, closing down is a natural response, doubling the cost. To quote Mary Angelou,
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
The 2 Sided Coin of Sharing our stories
As the collective discourse on trauma gains in prominence, there is a two-sided risk – many will hold their story untold, and many will speak. I hope and pray that the many who hold their suffering in silence find the safe passage they need to be witnessed beyond the lie of their worthlessness. Just as I hope and pray that the many who choose to speak find their way to this same spirit of restoration. The risk lies in the many who speak with an intention to leverage care, seeking to find gain and status on account of their confected stories.
Genuineness and Intention – values of Break-through
It can feel like we are trapped in a maze. Genuineness and intention is the breakthrough. Are we genuine in our intention to care? Are we genuine in our intention to listen? Are we genuine in our intention to connect? The truth will set you free. I know and I’m sure you know too, when you are being genuinely listened to? I know and you know too, when you are not. I’ve been guilty of both. It will take a revolution. Small and large intentional acts of care – for ourselves, our partners, our families, our communities, our world. To slow down. To look across, meet and be met.
Trauma can expand our understanding about what it is to be human
As insights, stories and perspectives about trauma become shared, our understanding about what it is to be human should be expanding. With respect, it’s not just another negative experience. Traumatic experience is marked by a radical undoing of self in time and space – leaving you lost, scared, isolated and yes, undone.
Last week in Bendigo, practitioners and researchers from across the country and beyond gathered around the theme of Beyond the Surface – Mental Health and Spiritual Care as part of their annual Conference. As theologian Professor John Swinton broke open the embodied devastation of the rupture of trauma, I kept thinking about how trauma over-rides our inclination to connect by focusing instead on protecting ourselves[1].
We need to cultivate spaces to hold people and communities in utter tenderness, so that safely, they can fall apart, tend gently to their fragmentation and slowly find their way back to themselves and their world. I know cause I’ve been there.
And now, my genuine intention in establishing The Healing Tide, is to support people and communities to do the same. You’re welcome to join me.
[1] See the work of Stephen Porges who developed what is known as Polyvagal Theory.
